It's Time

It was over a year ago that my unit dropped the news that we'd been slated for a tour in Afghanistan. At the time the news hit me like a fist, but over many, many months and the progression of life in all it's messy, painful, glory, I'd become numb to the fact of my impending trip.  When I left home three months ago to come to North Carolina for training, Afghanistan once again felt real. But that faded away after realizing we'd be here for months of low-quality training. It became a real necessity, for my own peace of mind, to just bury this trip way back, to make it almost a fantasy.

 

Two days it ago, though, it hit me. It's time. We're leaving. Now. Wow.

 

Here I am, sitting in a hangar at an air force base, guns and bags in hand, waiting for the green light to load up. Those of you who've been keeping up with this whole North Carolina mess will not be shocked to read that our plane is late! God bless America.

 

So, this is my last American posting for while. My trip to the 'Stan will span many countries over many days, so I'll update this page next time I find a computer. Wish me luck...

October 13th, 2004

RELEASE NUMBER: 041018-01

DATE POSTED: OCTOBER 18, 2004

 

PRESS RELEASE: Civil affairs officers killed in Iraq

U.S. Army Special Operations Command Public Affairs Office 

 

FORT BRAGG, N.C. (USASOC News Service, Oct. 18, 2004) — Two Army Reserve civil affairs officers died Oct. 13 during an improvised explosive device attack on their convoy in Mosul, Iraq.

 

Lt. Col. Mark P. Phelan, 44, and Maj. Charles "Rob" Soltes Jr., 36, were returning from a mission at a local hospital with members of the Upland, Calif.-based 426th Civil Affairs Battalion's Public Health Team when their vehicle was attacked.

 

Five other Soldiers were wounded during the attack.

The worst day of my life was 4 years ago today, watching Maj. Soltes's and Col. Phelan's last moments, and seeing three other friends seriously hurt. I was riding as a machine gunner in the Humvee behind theirs when they were hit by a suicide car bomber. We had been in Iraq 3 weeks.

 

Major Soltes was taken from two young sons and a lovely, pregnant wife. She later had a beautiful, healthy boy.  Colonel Phelan was taken from an adult daughter and a loving wife. Mrs. Phelan continued to send us care packages throughout our unit's year in Iraq. She makes delicious rice krispie treats. It makes me sad, now, to think of them and of her.

 

Before that day I don't think I ever had a clue what these war deaths meant. They were names on a list, men and women who understood the risks they took and died doing their jobs. Their deaths were sad and tragic but, in my naive thinking, understandable and bearable. I had never given a moment's thought to the surviving family. I had never considered their battle buddies who sustained life-altering injuries (across the two wars, for every soldier killed, several more are badly hurt.) And I'd never thought of their surviving teammates. The men and women trained accept risk and face death and, really, no better at it than anyone else. 

 

As of today, 4182 US service members killed in Iraq, and 611 killed in Afghanistan. Every October 13th I make sure and set aside time to remember that each of these deaths hurt someone just as deeply and as as the passing of Mark and Rob hurt their families and us.

Nerdfest

Today is day 5 of a 6-day Interagency (Army, Air Force, State Department, USAID, and US Dept of Agriculture) Strategic Planning workshop. I'm in heaven.

We're talking measures of effectiveness (outcomes, not outputs!), de-conflicting multiple plans (for example, ISAF vs. ANDF) , developing 1, 3, and 5 year projected end-states, synchronization matrices- great stuff!

In all honesty, one of the most heartbreaking things about my tour in Iraq a few years ago was the shocking lack of vision, lack of a plan, lack of a clear understanding of what we were doing and why. Blood was spilled and treasure was wasted in vain.

This experience, this nerdfest I'm in now, is encouraging. Granted, half the eyeballs in this room are glazed over, but this is important work. What are the root causes of instability in Afghanistan? How, given limited resources, will we tackle those drivers? How will we know whether we're succeeding? How do we make sure all US agencies are pulling together? This room doesn't have all the answers, but to board that plane to Afghanistan without asking the questions would be criminal.